Mental overwhelm is no stranger to parents with neurodiverse children. There is a constant stream of thoughts happening in our minds. Sometimes I call it the invisible workload. It feels like there is just constant pressure and that is what is actually causing the mental overwhelm. Recently, we’ve been decided to change our children to a new school. I inquired at this school back in October to start the admissions process for an August enrollment. They requested updated evaluations, which the earliest I could get them scheduled for those was March 4, and now we are missing the registration deadline. My mind is exploding because I really haven’t thought through an alternative if they aren’t accepted into this school. I’m just hoping the October conversation is enough to let us pass-through for the registration deadline.
While I realize changing schools isn’t an exclusive parenting neurodiverse children frustration, there are definitely some other considerations that go into play that make it a little more complicated. New evaluations being one of them. Determining if the accommodations and services they say are provided actually happen or whether it’s just an admissions show. Is the change going to totally disrupt any progress they’ve been making? And then there are the typical questions of how your child is going to fit in? How will they adjust? Can we get them to school on time based on our schedules? How are we going to pay for it? And on and on and on…
That is just one specific area, on one specific week. It’s not even close to all the other responsibilities, goals, and desires I have going on in my mind. The point isn’t to turn this into a Jen pity party. It’s to highlight that the mental overwhelm is real and happens so easily. It’s the reason that mind mastery tools are so incredibly important for me. If I wasn’t using them, I would just get stuck in this mental thought spiral. I would just ruminate and never find a course of action to move me forward. And I will be the first to say, I do not want to be lost in my mental spiral. Things get crazy in there.
Take 10 deep breaths.
I know you hear that advice all the time. It’s one of the most clichéd tokens of advice to stop the mental overwhelm. It’s because it works. Eventually. It may take time for you to get used to your breath changing your mental state. Let it take time. Let it become a practice that you are always working on. I’m definitely no perfect butterfly, but breathwork is a tool I’ve used for the last 13 years. I’ll admit there are times my breath and I aren’t on the same page. Where it just didn’t do it for me and I felt lost in the mental spiral. When pausing and breathing aren’t working, I know I need a different tool. That knowledge comes from having integrated breathwork into my way of being. I’ve gotten so used to relying on my breath to calm my mind, if it’s not, I know there is more going on than just mental overwhelm. My emotions are starting to get involved. And then I know it’s time to move my body.
Move your body.
Moving your body is one of the quickest ways to shift your energy. Sometimes that’s all you need. Just a different energy state to get out of your spiral and into a more productive or calm space. Shifting your energy helps you see from a different perspective. Obviously, there are so many different ways to move your body. There is no right or wrong. If you feel like you “should” be moving your body a certain way, I’m going to go ahead and say that is someone else’s idea you are making yours. Let your body move the way it wants, even if you aren’t burning the maximum amount of calories. Let your body instinctually guide you to what it needs for that moment. Sometimes it’s high intensity, sometimes it’s restorative yoga. IT’S ALL GOOD. Just move your body in the way that feels most supportive. You do not have anything to prove. This is about you and your mental and emotional health.
Phone a friend.
The power of being heard. A lot of times that’s all we really need. Not advice. Not resources. Not validated. Not anything. Just to be heard. Simple, but so hard to find. Honestly, this is one of my gifts. I am a great listener. I think it’s partially because it’s all I ever really want. And partially because I’m an introverted, empath who has a big capacity for containing big feelings. When breath work and moving my body don’t work, it’s time to phone the friend who feels right in the moment. Different friends are right for different situations. Can we agree on that?
Say no to mental overwhelm.
Getting yourself out of the mental spiral is easier said than done. Using these tools regularly helps stop the spiral quicker. But the quickest way out of the spiral is to just not start one. Saying no to things that don’t really serve you allows you to keep more headspace available for the things you don’t have a choice in dealing with. When you know you are coming up on a stressful time, be very cautious of what you commit to. Make sure what you say yes to is worth any mental stress it will cause.
The #1 thing you can do to help the mental overwhelm spiral is to take care of you. Make sure you have time built in for your needs throughout your days and weeks. There is nothing worse than realizing a month has went by and you haven’t done anything that filled your cup. I totally get how daily “me-time” feels hard. I have a newborn at home and it’s a challenge. Right now, I make sure there is at least something once a week that is just for me, just because it feels good.
General health and wellbeing activities don’t count as self-care either. Exercise is not self-care. It’s a function of health. Self-care is the indulgent things you do for yourself that make you feel cared for. Hence the term self-care. They are your way of showing yourself that you matter, that you are loved, and that you are worth it. Do more things like that in your life and the mental overwhelm seems a little more tolerable.
