Disclaimer: This is a little heart to heart that feels like it needs sharing. There might not be a whole lot of practical value for you, but I hope you read it anyway. If anything, you’ll get to know me a little better. 😊
I have spent the last week diligently “tidying” as Marie Kondo would say. (If you live under a rock, go get the Audible of “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo. It’s worth a listen.) It’s pretty embarrassing to admit, I’ve never really done a thorough investigation of all the stuff we’ve accumulated over the years. In a week, I’ve made it through about half the house, sent half a driveway full of stuff away in a donation truck, and hope to have another load next week. I wanted to share my experience and process of it all. Maybe you’ll be able to relate and it’ll give you a different understanding. Minimalism has been on the rise for several years, I’m sure we have all heard something about it and formed an opinion. Funny thing is, I’ve always been sort of negative against minimalism. I’d hear about it and think, “Whatever. Go have some kids and let me hear you talk about minimalism and a perfectly clean house.” I love shopping. I love being able to loan friends clothes and household things. I buy things sometimes because I know I can use it, but someone else I know also will get some use out of it. I have creative storage solutions for everything. It’s actually been an inside joke between my husband and me. “Let me guess, you need more storage.” I thought I’ve been managing the upkeep of the house pretty well because of all the storage solutions. I dislike seeing things out and about, so I just hid everything away. There was enough toy storage, book storage, clothes storage, shoe storage, and on and on. The problem is I felt like I was just constantly cleaning the house, putting things away, and never having time to relax or work on the things I really wanted to do. Obviously, there is a certain level of upkeep that needs to happen no matter how much, or little, shit you have. Truth be known, I think the prompting to de-clutter has been building up for about a year, I was just choosing to look the other way. Dealing with it felt like the last thing I wanted to do. It was way easier to continue being frustrated than actually acknowledge or do anything about the negative emotions. You know what I’m saying?
I came home after a weekend trip away and it just hit me like a train. I felt trapped. Getting rid of stuff couldn’t wait anymore. I had this realization at that moment I walked in the door. To reach the next level of myself, I had to be willing to let go of all the things that no longer served me. All the things I had in my house that I never touched or really even looked at were just building up stagnant energy suffocating me. Sounds dramatic, I know. At that moment though, it’s how I felt. I want to create the space for new things to come into my life but it felt like there was no room for anything else. I was busting out the seams already. Where was I supposed to out anything else? Where did this next level Jen even fit in this house? She doesn’t. I had to make room. I started with my closet. Everything in there I have total control over and I could decide whether to keep it or let it go. It was also an area that was totally overflowing and could make a huge improvement quickly. I took Marie Kondo’s advice and threw everything in a pile on the floor and sorted through it item by item. Seven garbage bags later, I had the items that “sparked joy” or were things I actually needed. It took me a full school day to do just my closet. I have an almost two year at home with me, so things like this can be a slower process. What sparked joy for her was jumping in the pile. We don’t really have a lot of leaves in Arizona, so I guess she had to get her kicks where she could. 😉
This is the part I wanted to share. And it might get super “out there”. I know there is still more to clear out in my home, but just the sense of relief and freedom I feel from doing what I’ve done so far is completely unexpected. It’s like all these things were weighing me down and I’ve let them go. The decision to clear out the old to make room for the new feels right. Energetically, there is a lightness in the house. It feels like an unknown burden has been lifted from the space. There is movement in the areas that are cleared. There is a sense of, “finally, I can breathe”. We are all affected by the spaces we are in. I’ve been spending time in trapped and stagnant energy. It makes sense that I’m feeling that in my body as well. I’m not saying that if you clear out your unused things you’ll feel the same relief or freedom. If you are feeling stuck though, it might be worth a shot.
As I talked to the kids about which toys we should donate, the five-year-old struggled the most. My seven-year-old was totally on board and almost seemed to feel the same way I did. Just ready to let it go and move on. The two-year-old couldn’t care less. We definitely could still make some room in the toy room but overall I’m really proud of the number of toys they were willing to let go of. There was a great conversation on privilege and how our unused things could serve other families. We talked about how the toys felt for being ignored and no longer played with. We sent the toy away with gratitude for the good times they gave us and wished them well making other children laugh. This is what helped my five-year-old the most with letting go, knowing that other children would laugh and play with her toys.
I can’t wait to finish the rest and find out the final resolution. There’s a suspense in the air that is waiting to settle. I’m looking forward to being able to sit and enjoy the space I’ve created.
