Motherhood is hard. It’s full of joy. And it’s a 1,000 things in-between. Every day we give more to our children then we have likely given to ourselves in the last month. We can do our self-care, but in the end, we are always giving more than receiving. It’s not good or bad, it’s a time period of imbalance. Raising children is a time to understand your capacity to give wholeheartedly, knowing you likely won’t be thanked for another 20 years, if ever.
We learn about our strength, resilience, and tenacity in our efforts to protect and nurture our children. I have certainly learned more about myself in the 8 years as a mother than I did up until that point. So while the days feel like endless giving, we are actually getting so much more. We are getting to know the core of ourselves. Learn our limits. As well as, learning our true values and interests. The lack of free time forces us to prioritize and become more efficient.
A balance of extremes.
No doubt, motherhood can be a time of extremes. And it’s a lot of pressure. However, if you put a piece of coal under extreme heat and pressure, your result is a diamond. I truly believe the process of mothering is the same pressure cooker for women. No matter the stage you entered your motherhood journey, you are going to come out of it more radiant, tough, and impenetrable. Who you are as a person becomes so rock solid, you no longer question yourself, try to make everyone like you, and waste your time on things you don’t like.
Through the extremes, pressure, and desire to not raise assholes, we are forced to grow and grow quickly. We can’t stay stuck in one place too long because our children will level up on us. Then we’d be in a real precarious situation. We know we have to stay one step ahead of our children. You can deflect a tough question a few times from your kid, but eventually, you’re going to have to figure out your stance on those topics and answer their question. And if your kids are anything like mine, they want to know why. Leading you to really need to know the reason you believe what you do. As annoying as they are, these why questions bring us so much clarity and resolve. It gets very insightful when they start unknowingly “why? why? whying” you about limiting beliefs you have. If you haven’t had the opportunity to explain why you don’t think you are capable of doing something to your child, I sincerely hope you get a chance soon. You’ll realize the limiting beliefs you are carrying about yourself as you try to explain your way out of it.
Getting to know your greatest teacher.
Our kids are really here to be our greatest teachers. Sometimes the teaching method sucks, but we learn so much about ourselves and our relationship to the world. It’s an endless adventure into “what you didn’t know you didn’t know”. To have a child who vehemently hates reading is like a personal affront to my soul. Some days it still blows my mind. However, it has opened my mind to so many other ways of learning and digesting information. I realized I love reading because it’s a way for me to learn new things and escape reality. Although now, I actually gain more information auditorially. Listening to something while I’m doing another task has become second nature. I don’t really have time to just sit and read these days. But learning and laundry is now a thing for me. A task I hate has become tolerable because I can escape through an audiobook.
I think you get where I’m going with this. It’s the struggles of motherhood that make it such a blessing in the end. Obviously, all the great stuff about motherhood is pretty special too. Can’t put a price on baby snuggles and “I love you momma”. 🥰 We know those things are fulfilling. It’s the reason we keep on keeping on when all we really want is a moment of silence and freedom. I am suggesting a reframe around the stuff that sucks about being a mom though. Instead of letting it be a drain of our life force, the thing we endlessly complain about to our friends, let it be the part that builds us into the diamond quality person we want to be. Let the pressure cooker of motherhood turn you into the brightest, shiniest, tough as nails person you can be. You deserve to shine like a diamond, my friend!
Being a mother is learning about the strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you never knew existed.
Linda Wooten
