We have educational evaluations coming up in our house this week. It got me thinking about all the work that goes into preparing for this day. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. For most of us, there is a lot of pressure and importance riding on this evaluation. It can be the difference between our child getting the services they need to succeed or not. It’s also the anxiousness of finally knowing what is going on with your child. Or the worry that there is something you didn’t expect happening. It’s a turning point for your family.
The good news is, the preparation for an educational evaluation starts long before it’s even scheduled and continues while you are waiting. As you might have just realized, scheduling typically happens a month to six months out for most neuropsychologists. By the time you get to scheduling an evaluation, you have likely been noticing some red flags for a while. You’ve gotten feedback from teachers about how your child is struggling. Whether it’s advised or not, you have compared your child to their peers to see where they measure. All of this observation and information gathering is part of the preparation. So congrats, you are already done with a big chunk of it!
While you are waiting for your upcoming appointment here are some suggestions to help you get organized. Please keep in mind that while this educational evaluation is definitely important, it is still only a snapshot in time. It is a glimpse of how your child was that day, in that moment, in response to one person. No test is ever going to give you a whole and complete picture of your child’s capabilities. That being said, I hope you gain a lot of clarity from the assessment and find a clearer way forward. You deserve to know how to best support your child and the educational evaluation is definitely a step in the right direction.
Get Documents in Order.
If possible, try to compile samples of their school work to provide examples over the course of time. You don’t need to get every project they’ve ever done, but a few keys pieces can help. Think about writing samples, spelling lists, research/book reports, etc. This can be helpful for the doctors to have a broader view of your child. Find report cards, or other assessments from the teacher, especially if there are any comments about the struggle to read or spell. If there was a general dyslexia screening done through the school, get copies of that.
If you have started any remediation support, ask the tutor or specialist to write up a small report on how they see the child, in terms of strengths and weaknesses. They may be able to provide some very specific information about areas of weakness that will be helpful during the educational evaluation. Like, the child is able to blend two syllables but not three. He can read 16 out of 30 sight words. The child has mastered CVC words and is currently working on CCVC words. This type of specific information also lets the doctor know how they have improved. It can set a baseline for individual progress compared to the expected achievements for that age group.
These documents aren’t going to change a diagnosis. They simply help expand the amount of time the doctor has to look at. Because like I said, they are only getting a 4-hour snapshot of your child. With the extra documentation, you are trying to provide as much insight into your child as you can. Helping them to see the bigger picture certainly doesn’t hurt.
It should go without saying, that every doctor is different. The amount of time they spend looking through extra documents will vary. But we mama bear’s won’t leave any stone unturned. Give them as much as you’ve got. At least then you’ll know you did what you could.
Get Your Thoughts in Order.
The first thing I suggest is to think back through your dyslexia journey. Jot down the highlight points. What made you question their reading abilities? Did they have any struggles in pre-school? What did their teachers have to say about them in the past? What does their current teacher have to say? Can you see any connecting dots between these stories? When did the plateau happen? What dyslexia symptoms do you see your child struggling with? How far behind are they in the classroom? What is their actual ability like? What are their strengths?
Knowing the answer to most of these questions, again, helps give a bigger picture for the doctor. They will ask you routine questions on general development as well. If it’s relevant, ask grandparents, aunts, uncles, anyone who sees your child regularly to describe what they see as strengths and weaknesses. I don’t think their opinions should ever replace your own thoughts, but you could glean some insight. As mothers, we know our children the best. That can also make it difficult to step back and analyze. Polling people is just to create a compilation so you can make sure you aren’t missing anything that could be relevant.
Before the meeting write out some talking points and the things you want to be sure to bring up to the doctor. These meetings can be very intense and/or emotional. I think what happens is we have built up all the emotion and energy leading to this appointment. Then it gets released when we are finally getting to share our child’s journey. It may not happen for you that way, but by having an outline, you’ll be prepared if you do start to feel emotional. The outline will help make sure nothing important gets missed.
The other part about preparing an outline of thoughts is you may only have 20-30 minutes with the doctor. If that’s the case, you want to be as concise as possible to describe your child. Having it written down will keep you on track.
Prepare your child.
Preparing your child for the educational evaluation will obviously depend a lot on their age and anxiety level. If your child is more go with the flow and loves meeting new people, you might not have to address it as early. However, if your child likes to know the plan and new things take adjustments, you can start letting them know well beforehand. You know your child best to know how much time they’ll take to process a change in schedule.
When you do start talking to your child, let them know they are going to meet a doctor who wants to get to know how their brain works. (If your child is triggered by the word “doctor”, use friend or teacher.) They will ask a ton of questions. There is no right or wrong answer to the questions. You just get to answer what you think is best. It’s important that you do your best and follow their instructions.
Obviously choosing the right doctor for your child is part of this. The ones we have loved have been great listeners, kept things positive and fun, and allow the child to take breaks when they need one. Try to release any and all pressure from your child having to perform a certain way. They are there to be themselves. The more they are able to be themselves during the assessment, the better you’ll know how to help your child in the future.
The night before the evaluation, keep your normal routine as much as possible. Same for the morning. Treat it like a normal school day, even if your appointment is later than school starts. Keeping the standard routine helps keep a baseline for your child. Make sure your child has a great breakfast and bring snacks and/or lunch for throughout the day.
Celebrate.
Your family is on the other side of the educational evaluation! Woohoo! Try to celebrate by doing something special after they are finished. It was a long day for both of you. It’s a big moment in time. Make sure they know that you love them and are so proud of them. If they want to talk about their experience, make sure you are listening with all ears. Also, let it be okay if they don’t have anything to say about it other than, “it was fine”. They likely don’t have words to describe it and are exhausted.
Every doctor will have a different turnaround time for completing the report but expect at least 2-4 weeks. Which feels like forever, I know. In the meantime, if you haven’t notified the school, let them know you’ve had your child evaluated and will need to schedule a meeting to discuss results. For now, it’s time to sit in the limbo phase of completing a major milestone but not having a way forward yet. Start finding and seeking out your #dyslexiamom friends. We’d love to have you in the Mastering Dyslexia Community!
