First off, I just want to thank you for being here. I know if you’ve found you way here, you are on a quest for answers. It’s the same quest I was on and am still on. We need answers for our children. We need to know what to do. Without knowing you, I already know you are a great mother or father. Thank you for being the type of parent who is seeking information on how to help and empower your child. If I could give you a hug, I would! And just know whenever you read this, I am sending you that virtual, energetic hug of a job well done.
We found ourselves in the world of dyslexia with our son’s diagnosis. Our story is so typical to others I hear, it’s almost comical. For frame of reference, I’ll start from the beginning. Our son started in a private, AMI certified Montessori school when he was a few months shy of three years old. He is a sharp, intelligent, creative little guy. People were always impressed by his speech and vocabulary. You could just tell he observed more than he should, if you know what I mean. I’m an avid reader and always desired my children to have a love of reading and learning. So of course we read to him constantly as a baby and toddler. And we still do. He did amazing in the classroom, was very social (maybe too social), and seemed like a very typical child. The only real concern we had through his early primary years was that he couldn’t figure out how to hold a pencil correctly. (Which now I know is a red flag for dyslexia.)
My concerns started when the children he started in the classroom with started reading and he still couldn’t even sound out words. I’ll never forget the moment it really hit me that something was “wrong”. We were at the pumpkin patch with our friends from school. His BFF is one month older than him and they started school at the same time. His friend, just turned 5 at the time, read a sign that said, “Don’t climb on the hay bales.” I was so stunned. He just read it out of nowhere and like it was nothing. That was not even in the realm of possibility for our son at the time. It was just a moment that I thought “hmm interesting that they are so far apart. but I know kids all develop differently and it’s no big deal. I’m sure he will be reading in no time!” Fast forward a few months and I’m talking with other mothers at school and they are so excited their children are reading and what a magical experience it is to see them blossom into confident readers. Now I’m thinking, “WTF, why is he the only one in his age group that can’t read yet? They all started at the same time, have been getting the same instruction, I know he is smart, what is is the way?! ” I brought up my concerns at spring parent teacher conferences and of course was told that he is so smart, he’s a boy, and it will click soon. But because he wasn’t reading well, it’d be best to have him do another year in primary rather than move onto the elementary classroom. All of his friends were moving on and he didn’t. He felt that. It was a blow to his confidence. He started saying he was stupid and “everyone can read but him.” He didn’t know why he couldn’t figure out reading.
That summer I made it my personal mission to teach him how to read. Yikes. What a terrible disaster that was. I had no idea what I was doing at the time. I bought all the BOB books and tortured us both with just trying to read them over and over again. I made flash cards with sight words on them. He thought it was a blast using the laminating machine, not so much in reading the words after. We would read a word and then turn a page, same word came up and it was like he had never seen it before. It took 30 mins to read 12 rudimentary sentences. He would get so frustrated he would just start crying or doing somersaults on the floor because he just couldn’t deal. I would get so frustrated because I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t getting it or couldn’t remember a word we literally just read. He would scream and shout about how he hated reading and he hated books. And it broke my heart, because I hated seeing his desperation and it insulted my love of reading. Needless to say, we didn’t make much progress that summer. It did clue me in that there was something underlying going on though. I starting googling like a mother on a mission.
We started the next school year and I told his teacher I thought he was dyslexic. She said she’d keep an eye out. We had a momentary pause in my crusade about him being dyslexic when we discovered he needed glasses, which he got in September right after school started just before his sixth birthday. We all thought, “No wonder he can’t read, he can’t see the letters well enough. Whew! Now that he has glasses he will be full steam ahead!” Wrong. Obviously his glasses helped, but that was not the underlying issue to his reading struggles. At this time we are now a full year since the pumpkin patch awareness happened. He felt lonely because his friends all moved on, he kept making remarks about being stupid, and he was not making any improvements in his reading.
In January, we decided to get him privately screened for dyslexia. I didn’t want to push it off any longer. We had already wasted six months to a year. When we got the results back I was already prepared for the answer and in some ways I felt relieved. We had an answer and we could figure it out from there. And to be totally honest, I felt gratified. I was right. I knew something was in the way and I kept being told I was overthinking it, he was too young, he was going to catch up, etc. But I knew. I knew in the way that all mothers know when something is awry with their child. We found an amazing Barton tutor, who he is still working with, and started getting him the help he needed. He felt a sense of relief too. We were able to explain why he wasn’t getting it; we were just trying to teach him the wrong way. Silly parents! And he was going to start reading now that we knew what his brain needed. And he has! Proud momma moment, but literally a few days ago he said, “I used to hate reading. I never wanted to do it. But now it’s not so bad. I’d rather play video games though.” He still has a long road ahead of him, but he’s got the sparkle back in his eyes and his confidence back. I couldn’t be more thrilled that we started right away with Barton tutoring, that he has a great connection with his tutor, and he’s proud of himself again.
Momma, if you have any doubt or question in your mind about your child, you listen to yourself. You know your child better than anyone else. Don’t let the school, the teachers, your friends, your parents, your spouse tell you that you are overreacting or overthinking. Do your research, as you clearly are 😉! If you suspect dyslexia, find a way to get them screened as soon as possible. Everyone has your child’s best interest at heart, they really do. They just have no idea what dyslexia really is or what to look out for. Unfortunately though, time is against us on getting early interventions. The sooner your child starts learning in a way their brain can process, the better.
I’m here for you. Let me know if you need any resources or recommendations.
XOXO
Jen
