It’s just one of those days. You are in a funk, feeling blah. Maybe you know the reason you feel negative, maybe it’s just mercury retrograde. Maybe it’s holiday season and you are stressed to the max with making the magic happen. Maybe your kids ran their muddy feet across your freshly mopped floors. Maybe your dog chewed up your favorite shoes. The baby blew out his/her diaper right as you were running out the door. Your boss sucks and doesn’t listen to you. You got in an argument with your hubby. Etc. Etc. Etc. We really don’t have to try that hard to find things to be upset about. They happen on the regular. But what we do with those negative moments make or break us. We can choose to wallow in it and feel sorry for ourselves throwing that victim card around like a trophy. And don’t get me wrong, there is definitely value in feeling all the feels. But you and I both know you don’t want to live your life from that victim place. We know we can do something about our negative thought patterns. However, there is a big difference between knowing and doing. The quicker we can train our brains to shift out of the negative, the more fulfilled, happy, and loving we are. Use these very fast, very effective tips to get back on track quickly. I know you are not settling for a life with a negative mindset. You are willing to create change to master your mind!
Reframe
Take a time out to pause and think of 3 good things that are happening because of your negative situation or mood. Let’s use one of the examples above. Muddy feet across your clean floors. We can add in the extra stress of saying guests are arriving in 10 minutes. Is your heart racing? Mine is! We all know that muddy floors aren’t life or death problems but it is frustrating and can cause upset in our life if we let it. So rather than let muddy floors bring us down, we are going to reframe. One good thing the muddy floors could give you is a quick 50-100 calorie burn as you hustle to re-mop the floors. Because you burned those extra calories, you can now have a guilt free glass of wine or piece of chocolate. 🙌 Lastly, you’ll have a story to tell that makes your guests feel right at home, because they’ve been there too. Now that you’ve got a different perspective on the floors you can choose to look at it as a guilt-free treat rather than a pain in the ass.
Big Breaths
I realize this tip isn’t revolutionary, but it sure does work. Sometimes, its the only step you need to take to start pulling yourself out of a bad mood. Start with closing your eyes, (unless you are driving and trying to reset from the bickering kids in the back 😉) and notice your belly moving up and down for a few breath cycles. Then take 5-10 deep, intentional breaths. Focus on breathing in calming, positive thoughts and exhaling the negative out. When you open your eyes you’ll notice you are in control and can make a more rational decision.
Mantras
This tool takes a bit of premeditation, but can be used instantly in the moment once it’s been established. If there is an area of your life that is constantly causing you a feeling you’d rather shift, you can create a phrase, or mantra, to combat it. For example let’s use doing homework with your child. This can be a very overwhelming task, especially for those of us parenting kids with learning disabilities. It can be a high pressure situation because it needs to be accomplished in a timely manner with accuracy. It can be hard to see your child struggle to complete the assignment, causing you to want to rush in and give the answer. Not to mention, you don’t have all day to sit around and wait. You’ve noticed you need to have more patience during homework time to keep you from rushing them or giving them the answer. Now that you’ve identified what you want to cultivate you can create your mantra. Find a phrase that reminds you what you desire to be. “I am patient, positive, and proud.” (Alliteration helps it sink into your mind.) When you start to feel the impatience and frustration creep up in homework time, you can repeat your mantra internally to yourself or even write it down while your child is working out the problem. Your internal dialogue is now shifting as you repeat the feelings you desire. After all, what you think you become.
Shift the Energy
You don’t want to feel the way you are, just move your body. Literally. Stand up, sit down, shake your arms, wiggle your fingers, roll your shoulders, drink some water, move to a different room, go for a walk, touch your toes, reach for the sky, all of the above. It doesn’t really matter what you do, just do something different than what you are currently physically doing with your body. When you move your body stagnant energy can start to flow again. Or if you’ve got too much energy bottling up, like anger, it allows it to release through the movement. It also gives your brain something to focus on. Throw in some deep breaths or one of your mantras for an added bonus of effectiveness. Just move and breathe for a few minutes to completely shift your perspective.
Write in Your Journal
This is a big one! If you regularly write in a journal, just grabbing it can start to bring you out of a funk. Your mind begins to know that it’s going to be working some things out. If you’ve only got 3 minutes and you don’t own a journal, grab any sheet of paper and write what’s bothering you for 3 minutes you have. Obviously, if you have more time, take the time you need to write until you feel complete. I think putting pen to paper is one of the most effective things you can do to shift your mindset. It allows you to be the observer rather than the participant. By stepping out of your ego and emotions when describing your situation, you become the friend you’ve always needed. The one who has all the answers, because deep down we all know what we need to do. We just have to get out of our own way to believe them. Journaling allows that knowledge to surface. Not to mention, you’ve released the emotions through the process of non-judgmentally writing. It’s like calling a friend to vent and feeling so much better after just talking. Treat your journal like your new best friend and call (write) anytime you want. Over time, as you learn more about yourself, you can begin to catch your thoughts before they spiral out of control.
We are all human. No one is perfect. These tools won’t work every time. Sometimes it’ll take more than one, or all, depending on the intensity of your emotions. And again, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have negative feelings and experience them. It’s not about being a golden ray of sunshine all the time. It’s about being in control of your mind and deciding how you want to be. These tools are for making a conscious choice to shift into what you desire. It takes time to retrain your mind to see things in a different way. But not as much time as you think. Practicing these five exercises over a course of 21 days will make enough of an impression on your brain to start the rewiring process. Then as you continue using them, it won’t take as much concentrated effort, you’ll start to do it automatically. And that is when you start to see big shifts happening in your life. Here’s to SHIFT happening as we close out the decade!
